Oh, gory. Oh, gory, gory, gory. Oh... so gory.
It's not that, I mean, well, yes, I know humans can enjoy that sort of thing, but it's so... well... I don't even know how to put it! I'm sorry, I don't mean to shout but goodness gracious! If you see this movie, just take a look at the state of the island! There's dust, and infestations of all sizes from worms to pigeons to cats! It's the most disgusting sight! I, well, I very nearly left before five minutes were up! But, er, I didn't, of course, because, um, I had to do this review. Not, um, not that I don't like doing this or... or I consider an obligation, um, no, that, uh, that's not how it is at all, and, um, I'm sorry to, ah, imply that, honestly I am! Oh, dear, I'm sorry, I've started babbling already, let me just get to the, uh, meat of the review.
This, um, movie is a sort of 'elimination thriller', I'd suppose you'd call it, maybe, if you wanted to. Like, er, that one Agatha Christi novel. You know... any of them. Ah, heh heh... see, that was a little joke, there. Um, thought I would poke fun at Ms. Christi. Um. Uh. Sorry to waste your time with that. The movie is... um... well, I'm sure everyone worked on it very hard, and I don't, uh, I certainly don't want to insult there efforts, and the movie isn't really bad, per se, but I do think it would be wise to warn you that the movie isn't exactly the best it could possibly be, all things considered.
Oh! Oh, dear, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to sound so harsh! It's just that, well, while the acting is certainly better than anything I could ever do, um, it's not, well, in every single individual case... good. You see? And the writing, while generally brilliant, of course, has a few line that aren't... so... brilliant.
Comrade, just tell them. The movie contains the single worst line in the history of Western cinema.
Oh, yes, will do, sir.
Jack! I keep telling you, don't call me 'sir'. I am no longer a member of the fully organic elite, I span into the silicate workforce. We are equals!
Oh. Um. Sorry, sir. Anyway, the movie does contain one really, er, regrettable line. Er, I shouldn't spoil much without the context or the character or all that, but if you're worried then maybe you should stop reading. Or, um, if you're bored. Or if you don't want to read. Whatever you want, really.
The, uh, the line is "Well, I guess we found out what his weakness is: bullets."
So. Um. Mindhunter gets a 3 out of 5, I suppose, because it's sort of middling, I guess. Er, well, they worked hard on it, so maybe that should be a 4. Or, um, a 4.5. Or a 5. I don't know.... whatever you think it deserves it perfectly alright with me.
