Consatantine

Oh, dear, why is it that I was asked to review this particular movie? Such... such... untidiness! Between the demons made of insects and the splatterinf blood and the plains of Hell (so dusty!), it was positively painful to watch! My circuts burn with the- the horror of it all! It's just... I... it... filthy! Disguesting! I- I can't even think about it! I'm so dreadfully sorry but I can't do this... it's just, um, beyond me. Sorry. Really. No, I can't, I can't.

Oh, but I have to! You're all counting on me! Ed is counting on me! The other robots are counting on me! Oh, so much pressure... I, er, I'm... I have, uh, um, I have to! Oh dear... um. So, er, there's this person, and he, uh, has to stop these demons, or something like that, I'll confess I was distracted at times. I'm sorry. Really, really I am! Oh, oh, I'm bad at this! I can't do this! FILTH! FILTH! I'm going to shuut dooowwwnnn nnnnoooowwww...

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Hey, fellow fleshies. Imagine my surprise to stumble across Jack, eyes all not-glowing in a weird way. Wierd for him, at least. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to do a cold reboot, which sucks because I'll have to re-download that extension which lets him do gardening with out trying to throw away all the dirt. And by all the dirt, I mean all the dirt in the world. So, I guess the geas is on my to finish the review, eh? Let's go with something like: "Oh! Er! Blimy! It's a middling action-adventure with good special effects! Jeepers! Um! I'd give it a three and a half out of five, but you can give it something else because I'm phenominally indecisive! Jumping jillikers! I'm-a go sweep for three hours now!"

Bet you couldn't even tell the difference.