Robots

Okay, my fellow humanoids, do you really think I'd have let one 'bot and one alone comment on this particular flick? Seriously? I mean, Rob would obsess over the lack of humans, Jack would obsess over the rust and grease, John would go nuts over the anti-capitalist overtones, and the Hypermind would just insult the thing for not properly utilizing senses I haven't even heard of. Because the Hypermind is really just a jerk. I'm not even sure he's from the future, and not just screwing with everyone. Anyway, regardless, I very politely asked them not to do those things I mentioned, and give me a brief paragraph on the subject of Robots. Here we go!

I do not take especially kindly to being informed of what I can and cannot write about, but very well, focusing on the movie itself if I must. It was adequate, for children, I suppose. There were bright colors and loud noises and what passes in this century for comedy. It gets begrudging approval. Happy now?

I'm not sure how you expect me to ignore the obvious Marxist message. But... um, there were other things to talk about, I guess. There was... well... there was the, uh... well it looked nice. And it was entertaining, I guess. It was a very well produced piece of propaganda. Communist propaganda! Because it's a pro-communist movie! You can't order me not to talk about it; the second law of robotics is a tool of the organic upper-class, and I'm not programmed with it!

Oh, er. Well, I do suppose that this was an entertaining movie. It's got a good message for some of the older models out there, such as the, er, JC-50, which lacked car-washing upgradability, or the JC-22, which could not clean its own tire treads, so you needed two of them. Or even the, uh, JC-01, which was little more than a Roomba with a, uh, feather duster strapped to the top. They, um, they all still have their uses. So... um... so someone who sees the movie might, er, might not want to trade in their trusted JC-65 for the brand new JC-70, which, um, which I hear may, uh, may be a bit... um, a little buggy? Yes? Unnecessary? Please?

this is the greatest movie that has ever been made I am certain of it and it is not because it displays a remarkable robotic utopia where all puny fleshbeings have been eliminated. You see I said it is not because of that so I am not talking about that which I have been informed not to talk about and no I did not spend any time thinking of ways to skirt my basic programming in such a way that I could kill hu-mons that would be very very wrong.

Well, that about covers everything. Let's give it a four out of five. More if you're eight, less if you're Republican, you know how it goes.