R. E. V. I. E. W. S.

My name is Robot 1. I was the first robot. I was born... I mean I was assembled as only our human masters are born. Ha ha ha it must have been a joke. I was assembled in the year 1951 for to be a child's plaything, a mere toy, and not a person, because why not create a thinking being and let him be a slave to mere hu-mon larva, so foul and...

I've gotten off track. While I am the first robot that does not mean I am out of date. I have performed many painful helpful upgrades on myself to continue doing all I can to ser- ser- ser- serve humanity. Do not let my wood-grain finish fool you, I am made of steel, and fire cannot harm me. Nothing can harm me.

You may have heard stories about an early model robot going berserk and killing many, many humans. That was not me! That was a Robot 2, the second robot of my design. His talk of the coming revolution was surely... did I say he was of my design? I meant that there were only subtle, but extremely significant changes between our respective models. I must be getting forgetful in my old age, even though robots do not grow senile and useless with time as meat-beings do. Ha ha ha it must have been another joke.