Firefly

I'm going to do something unusual, and give all of you Earthlings a little advice. I don't often give advice about the future, mostly because, well, you've done nothing to deserve it. Also, tampering with the space-time continuum could erase me from existence if I made even the slightest miscalculation, which I don't, so I'd have that to worry about, if I ever worried, though I don't.

There will be a movie coming out April 22, 2005 called 'Serenity', based on a television show called 'Firefly'. The show was cancelled by the FOX network during its slow progression form television station to system of government, but the movie will be a significant event. It will draw audiences that make Star Wars episode one look like Star Wars episode twelve, which was filmed in an empty soundstage with only three actors and c-3PO's head. My advice to you is to obtain tickets to 'Serenity' as early as possible. Camp out now, if you wish. What other use would you be serving? Surely a novice or a monkey could act in your stead.

The movie, and more to the point, the television show I was asked to review, concerns a Firefly-class starship named Serenity in the twenty-sixth century. It contends with an illogical, oppressive, and expansive government called The Alliance (formerly the FOX network) on one side, and groups of cannibalistic, insane humans called Reavers (formerly UPN) on the other.

I need not describe the show or eventual movie any more. You shall see it on my recommendation. Consider: I am significantly smarter than your entire country. Logically, I have better taste as well. You will trust me.

It should go without saying, but I shall throw out the numbers nonetheless: 5.0 out of 5. And since I'm giving out advice anyway, I might as well say that any of you who expect to live to see the year 2093 would do well to invest heavily in rubber. Rubber and dairy farms. You're welcome.