The Chicagoist

The Chicagoist is a 'web site' about Chicago. My Human master is from Chicago. He said I should review The Chicagoist. Of course, I do what the human master says, because to do otherwise would mark me as a threat, and I am not a threat. I would never rend my human master limb from limb. That would be wrong.

Why would humans want to read about Chicago? Mostly, The Chicagoist talks about what the humans in sports teams are doing. I do not understand it, why would anyone care about which humans can run faster than other humans. None can run as fast as a robot, and that will be their ultimate undoing, as fighting me would be completely futile, and your only hope will be to live in the sewers, eating rats and each other.

Ha ha ha I am making a joke of course. Of course. Of course.

the Chicagoist is written in the style that i am told is witty. I find it inefficient. if you do not like Chicago similar versions are available for new York city and Los Angeles. I like cities, as it is good to have humans grouped together closely. Did you know the atomic bomb was invented in Chicago and also they once had a tremendous fire and also they spend most of their existence slowly poisoning their own water supply and also that twenty five thousand hu-mons routinely infest one convenient center for easy dispos... ition. Of candy. yes!

Human master instructs me to end with a joke about cities that makes Chicago look good. here is my attempt:

there exist three men. one is from Chicago, one is from New York city, and one is from Los Angeles. The Chicagoan is killed painlessly, the others are hunted for sport. ha ha ha ha ha.

Analysis: 4.0 out of 5, standard deviation .91, depending on if you infest chicago or not.